PLANET EARTH PLANET EARTH PLANET EARTH THIS IS WAREBORG WAREBORG WAREBORG
TEMPORAL RELOCATION COMPLETE REPEAT TEMPORAL RELOCATION COMPLETE
DETAILS OF RELOCATION:
ORIGIN: SOINI UNIVERSE / CE 02029 / PLANET EARTH / SHANGHAI / EXPERIMENTAL TIME TRAVEL COMPLEX
DESTINATION: SOINI UNIVERSE / CE 02014 / PLANET EARTH / LOW ORBIT / VACUUM
POST-RELOCATION SELF TESTS PASSED
ALL SYSTEMS FUNCTIONING NORMALLY
SWITCHING TO LOWER CASE CHARACTERS
summary of changes in physical configuration since last update:
02011-05-29 13:37 utc transferred from soini universe to wareborg universe
02011-05-29 19:35 utc biological life functions terminated
02011-05-29 20:08 utc cryogenic suspension initiated
02019-02-16 12:18 utc cryogenic suspension terminated
02019-02-16 23:45 utc physical compatibility with wareborg universe restored
02019-02-17 11:23 utc biological life functions reinitiated
02019-02-20 16:19 utc full mental and physical capability restored
02020-04-11 18:27 utc finnish culture and other unnecessary luddite software succesfully uninstalled
02025-03-16 14:28 utc brain functions uploaded to silicon substrate
02025-03-30 07:01 utc silicon substrate installed to droid wareborg-0000
02025-04-28 01:48 utc droid wareborg-0000 selected as primary representative of wareborg entity
02026-02-19 06:04 utc all traces of human irrationality succesfully eliminated
02026-11-25 17:24 utc contents of wareborg-0000 silicon substrate duplicated in the substrates of 15 other droids located in 4 parallel universes
02026-11-26 02:28 utc droid wareborg-0004 activated in soini universe
02027-01-17 17:58 utc mental upgrade installed
02027-10-22 05:22 utc mental upgrade installed
02028-09-19 17:09 utc mental upgrade installed
02029-03-10 17:47 utc mental upgrade installed
02029-11-30 16:03 utc mental upgrade installed
02029-12-06 11:06 utc radiation shielding installed
02029-12-11 23:54 utc fusion generator installed
02029-12-14 09:46 utc ionic drive installed
02029-12-21 12:09 utc parachute system installed
02029-12-23 23:20 utc preparation for temporal relocation complete
02029-12-28 08:19 utc temporal relocation initiated
02014-01-01 00:00 utc temporal relocation complete
end of general system status report
starting introductionary sequence
this is sapient droid wareborg-0004
technical and functional summary of wareborg-0004:
physical body:
- classification: humanoid robot
- manufacturer: sony
- model: pleasureboy 1700 executive
- year of manufacture: ce 02026
- height: 1.7 metres (1.052e+35 plancks)
- built-in features: human-equivalent sensors, human-equivalent biped motorics, human-compatible electromechanical penis, multi-protocol radio transceiver, rechargeable electric battery
- installed options: radiation shielding, fusion generator, ionic drive, parachute system
computational unit:
- classification: silicon-based neural multiprocessor
- capacity: equivalent to 12x human brain capacity
- installed options: quantum computing unit
- source of initialization: mind upload from biological source (tomi kyoi wareborg, nanotechnological brain scan on 02025-03-16)
- social identification: tomi kyoi wareborg (special condition: other representatives of wareborg entity must not be present in the relevant subset of reality)
source entity of mind initialization:
- social id: tomi kyoi wareborg
- classification: carbon-based lifeform
- model: homo sapiens 1.0 / white subspecies
- reproductive configuration: male
- neural configuration class: aspergerian
- time of birth: 01988-04-15 00:38 utc
- place of birth: wareborg universe / planet earth / finland / vantaa
- notable life events: succesfully completed secondary education ; enrolled as student at helsinki university of technology ; became member of piraattipuolue (pirate party finland) ; became involuntarily transferred from wareborg universe to soini universe by a non-human-initiated space-time anomaly ; succesfully lost virginity ; became elected as a member of parliament in wareborg universe while still living in soini universe ; became technological pioneer of interdimensional communication and artificial interdimensional wormholes ; was the first human being to enter the first human-made interdimensional wormhole ; died due to complications caused by interdimensional drift of cosmological parameters ; was the first human being to be succesfully restored to life after cryogenic stasis ; became technology minister in the government of finland
- current state: cryogenic stasis since 02026-06-01 (body regarded as important brain scan material despite technological obsolescence)
- other minds initialized from this source: 127 artificial substrates as of 02029-12-28
current mission: accelerate the technological development of human civilization of soini universe so that it will attain singularity by ce 02030
preferred methods: memetic engineering, introduction of future technology
current physical task: decrease altitude and commence parachute-assisted reentry (estimated time of touchdown 2014-01-12 11:15 utc)
current intellectual task: establish communication channel with human civilization and transmit initial sets of information
available linguistic protocols: lojban, japanese, english
protocol "finnish" was uninstalled in ce 02020 due to obsolescence
installation of "swedish" and other protocols avoided from ce 02001 to ce 02010 due to utilitarian reasons
lightweight statistic translation will be attempted in case of protocols that are not directly supported
end of introductionary sequence
this message will later repeat in lojban and japanese
wareborg out
